Source: Amy Kostelic, associate extension professor, adult development and aging specialist at the University of Kentucky Martin-Gatton College of Agriculture, Food and Environment. 

Grief is the complex reaction to loss that can often be intense and overwhelming. Although the experience of grief is unique to each person, it can often be emotional, physical and spiritual.  

A flood of emotions may arise when we remember special moments or significant events in our lives. It is normal to feel a varying degree of grief when reminded of loss. Particular times that might trigger grief reactions include birthdays, anniversaries, holidays and death dates.  Even attending a funeral or memorial service for others can trigger the pains of loss.    

Grief is unpredictable and triggers that connect you to a loved one are everywhere, including smells, sights and sounds. Traditions and even new events that you think your loved ones would have enjoyed can trigger a grief reaction. Your grief may pass quickly, or it may linger for days or longer.  

To help you cope with grief triggers, in can be helpful to: 

• Prepare and plan. Turn dates into celebrations or a time for healing. Surround yourself with distractions in anticipation of a difficult anniversary. 
• Permit yourself to feel the emotions. It is OK to allow yourself to laugh and cry. 
• Reflect on your memories. Tell stories, write or find ways to communicate that are most comfortable to you.  
• Create a tradition. Use the date for a special remembrance or celebration. 
• Reach out for support. Don’t go through grief alone. Reach out to friends, family, professionals and/or support groups. 
• Volunteer your time to a cause. Connect to a specific cause or organization meaningful to you and/or your loved one.

Remember that grief is not a sign of a weakness or a setback. Rather, it is a reflection of what’s important to you—we all grieve, and you are not alone. 

Contact your local (COUNTY NAME) Extension office for more resources, tips and information.   

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The University of Kentucky Martin-Gatton College of Agriculture, Food and Environment news and communications team provides monthly Extension Exclusives in the categories of Horticulture, Agriculture and Natural Resources, 4-H and Family & Consumer Sciences. To see more exclusives, visit https://exclusives.ca.uky.edu.

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